Aaron

I haven’t written much about my husband so far. We have been married since 2002 but we have been together for almost 12 years now. We met at the worst possible place to meet a spouse…a club. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and needed to blow off steam. My sister and I would take turns being the designated driver so the night I met my husband she abstained from drinking. I went into the club and the first person I saw was…my ex-boyfriend. I then saw a group of three handsome men in the corner. I put on my best face and walked passed them. I was annoyed that they didn’t even seem to notice me, especially the tall one. Later I was coming back from the bathroom and the tall one touched me on the arm and said, “Are you going to the dance floor?” I leaned back and replied, “Are you asking me or do you just want to know?” By our third date I knew I was with the man I was going to marry. I knew as we were walking out of the restaurant I had met the father of my children.

Aaron and I dated for 5 years before we married in a beautiful church wedding.

We jokingly call our son our “honeymoon souvenir” since we got pregnant on our mini honeymoon in Las Vegas. We were so excited for the birth of our first child. During his active periods, we would turn off the television and just watch my stomach move and jump. When Kyle was born, Aaron was so gentle with him. Aaron seemed to be a natural parent while I struggled. I remember once running to him afraid I was going to hurt the baby because I was so tired.

When we were living in Chicago, Kyle and I would drive Aaron to work. Kyle did not wave or smile when Aaron left for the day. He did not mention his father during the day. He did not seem to care that his father was gone. He did not seem to care when his father came home. Most marriages fail when a special needs child is in the home, around 80%. Usually the burden of caring for the child falls to one parent, typically the mother. When everything with Kyle was at its worst, I felt alone. Aaron travels often for work, which leaves me to deal with the therapists by myself. Sometimes to get a few minutes alone I would sit in the bathroom, lock the door while Kyle and Tara screamed. I am still not sure if he truly understands how helpless and frightened I felt during this time.

Aaron is as involved as he can be despite his work schedule. He attends therapy sessions when he is in town. He talks to his family about Kyle’s progress. I have heard from some women that their husbands do not support them. Some men are ashamed to have a child with special needs so they ignore the problems and wait for them to disappear. Some parents never educate themselves about the various therapies that could help free their child.

Aaron has never reacted in this manner. He has been right beside me, attending IEP meetings, talking to therapists and using the Internet to stay informed. We were able to attend a conference together once and I was glad he could hear the information the same time I heard it. Too often I would learn something and bring the information home to him.

More than anyone else, Aaron celebrates with me Kyle’s successes.

He was there when Kyle took his first bite of spaghetti after 2 years of not eating. He has watched Kyle transform from a little boy in his shell to an energetic talkative loving first grader. He sat and listened as Kyle took the microphone and sang his first solo in church last year. We watch together as Kyle yells at his sister for not “acting appropriately.”

Aaron and I are more than just husband and wife. He is my best friend and I love him. He is not perfect but he is the perfect man for me. Everything we have endured with Kyle has made our relationship stronger.

¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (New International Version)