Afraid of the Kitchen

Patience, joy, gratefulness, appreciation and humility are all new traits I have acquired since Kyle’s diagnosis. Kyle has taught me more than I will ever teach him.

Unfortunately, one thing I taught him was to be afraid of the kitchen. For at least three months, Kyle would not stay in the kitchen. He would walk right up to the edge, scream for his shake, run in, grab his cup, and quickly move to another room. He hated everything the kitchen represented.

Like other aspects of autism, the signs of his oral sensitivity were present at birth but I did not recognize them. We had to be coached by a lactation therapist in the hospital, he cried himself to sleep rather than take a bottle from my husband, spit out his rice cereal, and he resisted solid food. With time we broke through each barrier and he started eating normal food. He was eating three meals (baby food mainly) and three snacks every day. He was eating spaghetti, tofu, rice, pizza, eggs, bread sticks, cereal, pudding, crackers etc… Most of his nutrition came from baby food.

When I switched from Stage 2 to Stage 3 Gerber Food, Kyle started openly refusing to eat. I would coat his food with applesauce in order to get him to eat. Applesauce on everything worked for months. Eventually he would refuse foods based on the jar then stopped eating all solid snacks. I remember not knowing what to do but I thought he was just being picky. Since he was my first child, I was so unsure of my parenting skills. I don’t reach out to people easily for help or advice. When I did, nobody was experiencing what I was experiencing.

Finally on July 30, 2005, I gave up trying to feed him. I was chasing him around the kitchen trying to put a bite of mashed carrot in his mouth. I knew that running through the kitchen with my son screaming was not right. I just didn’t know what else to do. My son was only drinking milk and juice for his nutritional needs.

At his 2 year check up, his doctor told us to switch to Pedisure and Carnation Instant Breakfast. She also told us that she suspected Kyle was autistic. After a few years had passed, I told his doctor my reaction to her news. She said, “Parents come in here frustrated because their child isn’t talking or eating and no one has told them why.” I felt guilty about my actions; I knew I caused his problems. I know that I could have handled the whole feeding situation better. He stopped eating solid food for 2 ½ years. When he started eating again, I finally let a little of the guilt go.